I have been a spiritual seeker for many, many years. It’s amazing how we are led on and on in our search. I could not tell you how many times I was in an Used Book Store and reached up and pulled a book off the shelf to look at it and have a nearby one fall and hit me on my foot. When I reached down to pick it up and put it back, I realized this is the book I need to read. Each book led me farther and farther on my spiritual search. I didn’t recognize it at the time. Early on it was Carlos Castaneda’s “The Teachings of Don Juan”. When I was in my early 20’s, I used to try to apply some of his instructions in my own life. Later, in my late 20’s, I was introduced to the work of Edgar Cayce through the gift of a book a friend thought I would like, “Edgar Cayce, The Sleeping Prophet” by Jess Stern. She was right. Ever since the late 70’s I have been an avid supporter of the work of Edgar Cayce. I have grown to trust the information that came through him while he gave trance readings. I used to say I should have been from Missouri because I wanted it proven to me. Well, Cayce did just that.
Even though I was a member of the Association for Research and Enlightenment, (A.R.E.) which is the association focused around the work of Edgar Cayce, since the late 70’s, I did not become actively involved with their programs and volunteer work until the late 80’s. I attended my first A.R.E. related program on the advice of a psychic. During the course of this reading she said that I needed to get out and be around people who thought like I did; that I wasn’t around anyone who thought like I did; that I should attend an A.R.E. Search for God Study Group, or a Course in Miracles Study group, or attend some of her channeling sessions, or whatever felt right to me. But do something, so that I could be around people who thought like I did.
I took her advice. I attended my first A.R.E. related conference and it felt wonderful. I can only imagine that it was like a gay person finally coming out of the closet and no longer needed to hide who they were. I could talk to people who were interested in some of the same things I was without hearing “Oh crap, there goes weird Tom again.”
Of course, at first, the attraction was the magic of it. The mystery that a man could lay down on a couch in Virginia Beach and tell you everything that was going on with a man out in California, including what the trees were just outside his window. I thought that was amazing. Later, it was the deep spirituality in the Cayce readings that I focused on.
I have always been seeking the light. Many years ago in a period of despair and desperation, I was seeking to understand why I had to live with such hardship and trials. I thought I must have been really a jerk in some previous life and now my “Karma” was coming back to bite me. I heard very clearly a voice tell me that I was a “beautiful being of light”. At the time, I had not a clue what that meant. Since then, I have gained a better understanding.
In addition to the Cayce material, I delved into Rudolf Steiner’s work and attended some Anthroposophical study groups for a while, as well as a short stint going to Course in Miracles groups. But I had found a home in the Edgar Cayce Search for God study groups, which I attended for many years. From about 1992 until about a year ago (2007), I was the contact for Search for God Study groups in NC. If you wanted to find a Search for God study group near you in NC, or help in starting one, you called me. In addition to attending Search for God study groups, I hosted one in my home for a number of years.
Another interest of mine for the last 14 years or so has been the mystical teachings of Joel S. Goldsmith. There is something about his message that just speaks to me. I had never heard of him prior to a reading I had with Sherrie Dillard. During the course of this reading she said she thought I might like to read Joel Goldsmith. Boy was that an understatement. She had offered to loan me her copy of “The Art of Spiritual Healing”, but we forgot it when the reading ended. I have learned that I can usually trust the information that comes through Sherrie, so I was very interested in seeing what Joel Goldsmith had to say. I called the library at the A.R.E. headquarters and asked them if they had it, and of course they did and sent it to me. After reading about two paragraphs, I was hooked; I had found my path. I have been reading books by and listening to tapes of, Joel Goldsmith lectures ever since. I even read and dictate his books on tape so that I can listen to them as I travel. There is just something within me that keeps me reading and studying his material.
In December of 2007, I had an experience of conscious union with God. I had been sincerely praying that I could understand God’s will and do what God wished me to do. For months I had been sincerely seeking His will and trying to apply what “felt right” in my day to day life. And I had felt for quite some time that something wonderful was going to happen. But I thought it was that I was going to win the lottery or something like that. The thought that I would actually merge with God and be conscious of it was not on my radar. During the experience, I felt absolute peace and love and just seemed to “know” things. I realized that God was actually consciousness and I was a part of that consciousness. I understood that my mind was creating what I seemed to be experiencing. I “understood” that out of consciousness universes were created, planets formed, and experiences in dimensions programmed. The only thing that prevented us from attaining the same heights of spiritual understanding that Jesus had was the limitations placed upon us by our own minds.
For a couple of months following this experience, I just beamed love at everyone I met. I don’t think I mentioned my experience to but one friend and even then was reluctant to talk about it. Then in late March and early April I crashed. I went from the heights of spiritual illumination to the depths of depression and illness. I had a flu like illness where I had no appetite and if I did manage to eat I was throwing it up shortly. I could not stop coughing. And I was really annoyed that during the nicest weather we had had, I was inside in bed feeling miserable. I was also totally stressed out about my financial affairs. I found it hard to sleep at night because of the worry and stress. At one point, I promised God that if he would just take the fear away I would do anything he asked.
When I finally remembered to use my Radial Active Appliance with Gold Chloride in the solution jar, it was almost as if a switch had been thrown in my head, I knew I was going to get better.
A few days later a friend, Maryphyllis Horn, called to see if I could help her with a problem with her email. I told her about the oneness experience and then how I had crashed into a debilitating depression. Her comment was that she thought it was an initiation experience. Since that conversation, I have come to believe that she might be right. Following my recovery from the depression I have noticed two very interesting things, one, I no longer have any interest in drinking alcohol and two, I now find my self more willing to share the mystical side of my life; something that I have always been a little reluctant to do. For over 20 years, numerous psychics have indicated that I am a healer. I have always refused to acknowledge it. After my recent experiences, I am now willing to offer my self as a Spiritual Healer. If this is not what Spirit wants of me, I’m sure I’ll find out. But at this point, it “feels right”, so I will go forward with this “feeling” and see where I am next led.
This site was last updated 06/03/08